I am in a vortex of obligation.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
