ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
