She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
