I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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