Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
