dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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