My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
