and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
