Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
