I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
