a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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