I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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