He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
