From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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