If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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