I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
