so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
