She is in my trunk
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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