I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
