I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
