sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
