She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
