i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Enjoy the penises
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
