grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
