Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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