If i come over, it means nothing
if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
is it fun? or sober?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
