Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
