doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
