we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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