i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
