Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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