Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
