I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
