You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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