just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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