Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Boobs are out for the taking
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
