She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
