why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
