Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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