you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
