Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
