I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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