Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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