Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
