dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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