the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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