i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
