I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
