I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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