i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
