She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
